Hello 👋

One thing you will soon learn about me is that I am one of life’s procrastinators. I am not a very spontaneous person and am a little fearful of the unknown. I suspect if you met me you would never perceive me in this way. This blog will no doubt be full of my questions, concerns, musings and rants.

I have worked in my current role for 12 years and I love the speciality and the patients. Haematology is such a diverse range of disorders including, leukaemia, myeloma and lymphoma affecting the very young, very old and everything in between. That is possibly why it is so rewarding such a range of diversity.

However the NHS has changed, in some ways for the better but in other ways for the worse. It is now target driven, overworked and underfunded. Everyone is under so much pressure to perform and to prove their worth. As a CNS it is tricky to prove your worth as the interventions are not necessarily coded and therefore don’t income generate. How do you quantify time spent with someone who has just found out they have cancer, who maybe just a few days earlier went to the GP feeling under the weather. In the blink of an eye they can be admitted to hospital and not leave for around 4 weeks. This is certainly the case for a newly diagnosed Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. they have families, jobs, bills, homes and now everything is rocked to the core.

On a personal note I have been married for 20 years and have 2 children, one aged 19 and the other 12 going on 30. My eldest son has POLR3b leukodystrophy a progressive neurological disorder. It was clear from when he started school that he was different. An MRI scan showed a number of abnormalities. The actual disorder was not identified until around 4 years ago when the abnormal gene was identified. He accesses specialist education as he has significant learning difficulties. Having a personal experience such has this has given me a real interest in patients who have a learning disability or additional needs, whatever they call it these days…lol. in addition I know what it is like to live with an uncertain future, not knowing what is round the next corner.

At this moment in time I am contemplating a change of role, after 12 years in my current job I do feel like I am on a bit of a road to nowhere. I feel like I have much to offer in terms of experience and enthusiasm plus I want a challenge. My dilemma is with 21 years of haematology experience do I stay in the speciality or do I move to something different…..palliative care or acute oncology?